A lot of things had to happen for me to become me. . . .


A lot of things had to happen for me to become me. This was the beginning of the end of me being able to work in big-box, fear driven fundraising machines. After a five day vacation, 400+ emails waiting for me. I still get a good amount of e-mail activity, but they are, with rare exception, not useless fear-driven cover-your-ass emails that you find in big machines like the shops I used to work in. The e-mails these days fill my cup with community, meaning, joy, sometimes hard conversations, even shared confusion. I recognize that 2017-me was probably both depressed and delighted with a 400 e-mail expression of my importance, but the me of today recognizes the difference.

I’m learning to stop glorifying useless expressions of exhaustion and overwork as a badge of courage.  It’s a hallmark of a machine that wants to gobble smart humans up as they are slowly removed from joy. Smart, driven humans are far less troublesome to the smooth working of the capitalist machine when they are exhausted with useless busy work.

Get some rest beloveds. Eat the delicious food. Get fueled for good trouble. Peace friends.